You know what I really like... no really really like

Nice guys.

Who kiss you on the forehead

And call to hear your voice

And lick shoulder during sex.

The really really nice guys

Who you feel guilty for pushing the "ignore" button on.

So nice that they're annoying

And yet I like them, I need them

Because I'm just a needy person. I want so much but I need so much more.

And right now I need a nice guy

And I need a boyfriend

And I need shoulder to cry on and someone who will kiss me in the cold and in the warmth and in my bed and at parties and during sex and after and in the morning when I don't want to kiss him

But more than anything- right now I need Lee.

to be nice.

Breathe

Breathe

As I walk onto the stage my body feels with emotion that supersedes all other emotions of my life

I realize the stage is bare and my nerves start to run wild with anticipating thoughts of what will happen in the next 2 minutes.  

Will they like me? *PAUSE*

Or will they hate me?

Am I good enough?

Are all the countless hours of sweat and love for this art going to get me through this moment?

I tell myself to stop thinking about that and just enjoy where I am. Enjoy who I am and enjoy what I love to do.

As the stage starts to connect to my body those nervous little butterflies start to flow away. And the passion emerges from my heart to my soul to my body. The excitement explodes out of my skin just to experience this moment. This amazing moment of joy, nerves, passion, concentration, love, fear happiness. So much happiness to be doing what I love. To be experiencing just this.

  This moment to embrace the feeling of the floor to feel the heat of the bright white lights pouring down on me to feel the texture of the floor beneath my feet. All the while trying to captivate you and you and you and you into this piece of art I call my perfect moment.

But are you really watching me? Have you seen every move? Have you felt the contractions, the elongations, the fingers , the head, the body the soul. Do you really see me? Do you see my message through my eyes into my soul? Do you see how much I love this? How much I want this? This is where I’m  happy . This is where I truly belong.

My body feels like it’s floating now. Floating in pure happiness.  The stage is gone. The curtains are gone. The audience gone. The lights are dim and all that is left is me. Just me in my moment of passion.

Breathe Breathe.

And as this moment is just about to end. I can start to feel the stage underneath me again. I can see all of your silhouettes starring at me in silence. And with only a few more seconds left I would like to thank you, for being a part of my perfect moment.